An Ode to Jillian Michaels

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Jillian Michaels, you beastly woman, you:
 
You frighten me.
I'm pretty your biceps could crush me with the force of a thousand dragons.
Don't get me wrong, it's inspiring . . . in a please-don't-eat-me kind of way. At times, I'm almost certain you're going to jump out of my computer screen and sit on me, forcing my buns lower to the ground for push ups. My muscles are already crying like someone took a sledgehammer to them in my sleep, thank you very much.
 
I'm confident I'll never be as ripped as you, no matter how many times I complete this 30 Day Shred. Ten push-ups to you is like a stroll in donut park (Ha. Just kidding. You've probably never eaten a donut in your life.), but for me, I'm sighing and snorting like a slowly dying walrus. 30 Day Shred? Try 30 Day Dead.
 
As much as I'd like to crush steel with my inner thigh, I don't exactly want my future babies to shy away from their Amazonian mother. I also don't ever want to be able to beat my husband in an arm wrestling competition. . . for his sake. Embarrassing.
 
Like the aftermath of chilli cheese nachos, you're pushing my body to places it has never been before. (No trots yet though. Buns crossed!) I'm almost as sore as I am after running marathons as I am with your twenty-minute workout.
 
You scare me, Jillian, but I kinda love you anyway. I'm enjoying working out with my goofball husband who may or may not have been forced to take these pictures last night.
Only 23 more days to go!




Can I eat pizza now?

39 comments:

Katie Did What said...

hahaha LOVE your ode to miss jillian. I hate her, but I love her. OH, and you are wayyy hotter than Jillian, with or without the scary biceps.

xo

SimplyCallMeSylvia said...

haha! I unfortunately (or fortunately? lol) know exactly what you mean with 30 Day Shred! Except for the fact that I have NEVER run a marathon! haha

Love and Such said...

haha WTF you even look cute when you work out.
not fair!

Aren't our husbands the best for taking ridiculous pictures for the blogging world? My husb thinks I'm nuts when I'm like.. "k now take a picture of me doing THIS!" *eye roll*

You'll have to keep updating with your shred.. I'm interested.

p.s. I think Jillian is terrifying.
The end!

Angi said...

Ha, I love to hate Jillian Michaels...her DVD's work but they're SUCH TORTURE!

funsizetessa said...

The last part is my very favorite. Hahaha that woman! She's a beast.

k8te said...

i did the 30 day shred a few years ago...the free on-demand one, so i'm sure her actual dvd one is way harder! jillian is a total beast. lately my "workouts" include walking the dog and yoga once a week...oops! :)

Helene said...

I love her and I hate her. i did the 30 day shred before my wedding and i think my arms looked halfway decent.

J and A said...

hahhaa you crack me up. Love Jillian but she does scare me. I would love to be on Biggest Loser with her!!

Halie Renee said...

This was a great and funny post! I've attempted the 30 Day Shred myself, twice, and not gotten past about 15 days... I'm actually going to be starting it again though very soon! (My intention was yesterday, but that didn't happen, sooo maybe tonight?!) Anyways - good for you and I hope you make it!

Lauren said...

yeah...i don't think I ever got past day 10 of the 30 day shred. That DVD has found it's rightful home stuffed in our box of other DVD's that are very seldom watched. I think she'll stay there, something about 30 day shred just doesn't do it for me!

Bev said...

hi. i'm following the GFC blog hop. i would love for you to vist my blog and follow if you like it.

http://www.blackinkpaperie.blogspot.com

thanks
new follower bev

Genna said...

This is awesome and hilarious! I've never tried shred, but it sounds super intense.

Claire @ The Rustic Pig said...

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! You are HILARIOUS!!!! Honestly though, she kind of scares me too! :) So, I just started the Couch 2 5k... again.. so I'm a tad bit jealous that you've run a marathon when I can't even make it to 5k! Ugh!! Maybe one day.. Hugs!!!

Jodi said...

Everyone talks about how great this workout is. . . I keep trying to decide if I should buy it and if I do will I actually do the workouts!? Something to ponder!

Ragan said...

i am impressed! you go girl!

Holly said...

KEEP IT UP!! I'm starting TONIGHT :-D

Lins said...

I have a love/hate relationship with 30 day shred. Jillian rocks. Keep it up girl! You're inspiring.

www.domesticatedworkingwoman.blogspot.com

Lauren said...

Hahahaahaha I'm dying! You and me are so much a like!!!! I suck so bad at working out and am so intimidated when it comes to ripped women lol! I love this post! :)

xo

Pamela said...

haha you are so cute! I have heard really good things about the 30 day shred! I think the hardest days are the first ones so hopefully it gets better! :)

Blue Dog Belle said...

Good luck! She's scary!

Madeline Grace said...

Good luck! I love Jillian! You should watch her on Biggest Loser, she is a total beast and much meaner. I know you'll do great!

Kelley Gilster said...

aahahah Jillian frightens me too! Good luck you can do it!!

Jordan said...

You had me at pizza.

rachel said...

Ha! I did the first one once.
She is terrifying.
Good luck! ;)

Allison said...

I need to get back on the Jillian train. I love her videos and got out of the habit of doing them. Your hot workout pictures have me wanting to start again...either that or eat a pizza. I'm not sure which I'll choose. Haha.

Leslie @ Body Won't Break said...

I love Jillian Michaels but her work outs terrify me. Way to go on sticking to the shred though! I have that DVD and I need to do it. Maybe once I get my work out room all set up in the house?

SarahJane Miller said...

You are adorable! i hate the 30 day shred, I am impressed you have lasted 7 days! you go girl! I just found your adorable blog through the GFC hop! I am excited to be your newest follower! I would love for you to stop by sometime and follow along if you'd like :)

sjdmiller.blogspot.com

Pam Mower said...

Haha! Impressive, she is hard core! You're looking great :)

Kristen said...

haha I feel the same way! 30 day shred is more like 30 day dead.. but at least it works ;)

stephanie said...

ahhhh Jillian Michaels is my enemy/bff just because her workouts are so hardcore! and how do you stay lookign cute? I'm usually a red faced and frizzy haired mess!

Alyssa @ Sugar, Spice, and a Dash of Advice said...

Hahaha I would have just gone straight to the pizza so looks like you're doing a great job!

Amy said...

HAHAH i find myself SCREAMING at Jillian...and then never lasting the full 30 days...so i need to change that and stick with it.

Karla said...

hahah your face on the last picture is priceless. I am terrified of trying out her videos.. but if I look half as cute as you do .. I might just try it.. just might!

Laurie @ Keepin' up with the Scardinas said...

I was smack in the middle of the 6 week ab program when I ended up preggo. I was really enjoying it but it totally took me a while to build up to her level and I felt like dying after the first 10 minutes!

Erin said...

OH my gosh heck to the no to Jillian Michaels. I got her 30 day shred DVD and did it up until, hmm, maybe day three? Fail. I couldn't even sit down to pee after the first day.

And I am SO glad you found my blog today because yours is just adorable and I can't wait to keep reading :)

Hannah {Our Journey Blog} said...

Found you through the blog hop! You are too funny! Glad to connect with another Texas blogger. :)

Mary said...

Found you through the Follow me Wednesday blog hop--this is our first time participating! Love your blog and I'm now your newest follower :) Jillian sucks but you'll see results. I can't handle when she starts yelling about not "phoning it in." Haha good luck!

Anestazia said...

Hi there! Just wanted to introduce myself as a new follower through Follow Me Wednesday. You're right... Jillian does suck, and that's why she's the best! Her dvd's are the only ones I will spend money on! Try her power yoga... it kicks butt! :)

Anestazia
http://yourworkistodiscoveryourworld.blogspot.com/
http://www.pinterest.com/abrace04/

Tiffany said...

I'm starting my 30 days tomorrow....kinda nervous!!

~Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com